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TOO GOOD November 19, 2015

Things are going good.
Too good.
When it's like this, it almost doesn't feel right.
Like...
How is this possible?
Something's gotta give.
And that dreaded 'something will happen and fuck this up' feeling hangs over me.
So,
instead of waiting for something to go wrong...
I make something go wrong.

Luckily, that hasn't happened yet.
But,
unfortunately, I know myself all too well.
And that is what I do.
Things start to go great,
and I have to throw a wrench in it.
Years ago, therapists told me it was because I felt 'un-worthy' of things going good.
Who knows if hearing someone say that only made it into a reality.

I like to think things can and will change,
I need to let things be good.
I need to not fuck up.