LEARN MORE ABOUT ME IN MY INTERVIEW W/ TAMARA SANTIBANEZ November 6, 2015
SO... ANOTHER INSTAGRAM OF MINE HAS BEEN REPORTED & DELETED; MY NEW ONE IS NOW @h00kerpr0blemz
I sincerely apologize for the lack of my entries.
Since leaving the USA and coming back to Manchester, UK- it has been non-stop action.
From having to set up my entire "Date Room" or "Working Room", sort through all my clothes & lingerie, getting back on webcam and starting to Escort again.
I had a lot of bills I needed to catch up on; so writing, unfortunately, was put on the back burner.
I am however, in the process of writing a short piece about my recent feelings about recent cyber bullying and getting back into work after being away all Summer.
While in the USA all Summer, I got tattooed by an incredibly talented artist- Tamara Santibanez, in Brooklyn, NYC.
I had been following her ever since an old friend of mine showed me her instagram and felt so privileged and lucky to not only meet her but get an incredible tattoo by her as well!
When Tamara asked if she could interview me for an online magazine she writes for, I was so shocked that she found ME interesting!
You can find the interview on Sang Bleu HERE
I decided to also post it here with completely different photos.
Trying something new.
In your professional life as a cam girl and escort you appeal to a niche or speciality audience with your full body hair- was this a change made because of an existing lifestyle/grooming choice or made specifically to set you apart in the cam & escort industry?
Ever since I went through puberty, I always enjoyed having my pubic hair. I admit I did shave my armpits and legs at one point- and over the past few years shaved them on certain occasions. When I first started in the sex industry I totally conformed to what I thought every guy wanted to see in a woman, which was to be completely shaved- everywhere.
I remember when I decided to stop shaving very vividly. I had a client who I had seen a few times before, and was too lazy to shave my stubble. So, when we got down to business; he noticed it- and he was enthralled. Not only was he really into it. he also asked if I would ever consider not shaving at all. I revealed to him that I preferred the natural look; not just on myself but on other woman and men. Once this came to light, that there were people out there who were attracted to hairy girls, to me- I decided to return to being the person I was comfortable being. I expected and even came to terms with the fact that I would probably lose half of my business, which I was OK with.
I would rather make less money by seeing people who genuinely like me for me. Not because I'm just a pretty face, but because I'm natural, flaunt it and more. So, I guess you could say it started off as a grooming choice and then it turned into what set me apart from other escorts and cam girls. And, as soon as I marketed myself as all natural, my business tripled. It was crazy! I wouldn't necessarily call my look a 'niche' since at one point in the world all woman were natural, and it was a kink if you were shaved. All the men out there who are in there 40's 50's and so on- when they were young all the girls had these big hairy bushes. Most of these men, and the men I see, are turned off by bare and shaved vaginas, It comes off as pre-pubescent. Fortunately, for me, the all natural and hairy look still appeals to men of all ages.Turns out, it's pretty hard to find a 24 year old women who still has all her body hair and does't even trim. I'm very blessed because the clients who come to see me; I already feel more connected and bonded to them immediately since they are coming to me- not just (excuse this wording) a hole to fuck. They are coming to me because I am unique and exactly what they are looking for.. The fact that the hair, me and all of it turns them on, is exactly what turns me on!
Your hair is dyed blue and you have dyed your underarm and pubic hair blue to match. Do you find this accentuates your hairy assets or puts off clients seeking a "natural" look?
Personally, for me, it has definitely accentuated my hairy assets. The natural, un-dyed look has been and always will be beautiful on it's own. However, I find having a bit of colour helps it come off to others more fun and inviting- especially to some that would otherwise not take a second look. I believe it adds an element of my creative side which helps people relate to me, when they may not be able to on other levels. I have yet to have a client who asked me to return the colour to it's natural black, or even say that they did not like it coloured. I think the enjoyment has to do more with the hair being there than the actual colour.
How has your experience as "all-natural" been different from your experience working in the same industry with a more mainstream or typical look?
It's been different in a lot of ways. Luckily, it sets me a part in a good way. Too many girls today have the same blue eyed, blonde hair, tanned skin and porn star look. Which still appeals to a great deal of people, don't get me wrong. But, I feel if I were to still be shaving and doing cam work, escorting and domination; I would not feel connected to my client at all. I wouldn't be able to understand why they chose me- when there are so many other girls who have the same look. Yet, when I get booked today, for being hairy, I immediately know the person likes everything I have to offer. That I stand out among the other girls, that my look was able to draw them in... and that's a powerful feeling. It's been great seeing how many clients actual read my blog, or follow me on social media and keep up to date with what's going on in my life. I now get clients frequently who know a lot about me before they even show up from reading my blog, and we end up getting into in-depth, philosophical and amazing conversations. I have made some friendships, bonds and even a past boyfriend from this line of work, that have truly touched my heart and my life.
That said, I do get a lot of negative feedback or comments for not looking like a typical bare 'Barbie', but I would much rather continue to see the kind, gentle, down to earth and respectful clients who I see now... then anyone else.
You've spoken about your sex worker identity "Cassidy" as a type of alter ego and a place for you to explore a femininity you don't normally possess. How did you construct that identity in terms of style, mannerisms, etc? How did you know what you wanted your sexual persona to look like? Did you have models or media you looked towards?
Cassidy is someone who is forever changing and evolving. which is great. Growing up I was always a tom-boy who never wore dresses, make-up and definitely not sexy revealing clothes and heels. I would hang out with my friends and watch them get all dolled up, and I secretly wanted to join. However, when I would put on the dress, the make-up, sexy clothes and heels it didn't look right on me. My friends would agree, having only seen me in boyish clothes. Cassidy helped me to discover that I actually always did posses this femininity and she allows me to show it in a confident and sexy way. It's hard sometimes, because I get confused with who I really am and who Cassidy is and how to know who is who at times. I have now learned, that they are both ultimately me, just different parts of me. I was born in June and am therefore a Gemini, I like to think of Cassidy as my twin. When Cassidy was created, I would show up to meet a client in sexy clothes and since they had never seen me in boyish clothes and only saw the dolled up girl in front of them; the heels, make-up and the flirty laughter were all my normal mannerisms and style in their eyes. This helped both Cassidy and myself to gain confidence.
Like I said before, Cassidy is forever changing and so is her style and her mannerisms. At first she liked the more ghetto, hip hop look. I finally got my ears pierced, having never had them pierced, and began wearing the gold bamboo hoops I had always yearned to wear. I have never had good fashion sense, so unfortunately her fashion style is not the best. However, I'm hoping to change that. It's been nice because it's not just Cassidy discovering what style fits her best and dabbling in different outfits and trends... it's me too. This whole experience has raised my self confidence in ways I never thought possible, in ways that feel irreversible.
Based on your instagram presence, you seem to have an obsession with the Playboy logo, using it in your outfits, accessories, home décor, and tattoos. The Playboy bunny is typically used as a symbol of sexiness and luxury. Do you have an interest in Playboy magazine specifically or do you relate more to the "brand" as a larger concept? Do you think the image resonates differently with you as someone actually living the lifestyle of sex and commerce that Playboy symbolizes?
Honestly, I really just think the symbol is cute. You worded it perfectly, to me it does symbolize sexiness and luxury, which I am ALL about. I love the old Playboy magazines, when the girls were hairy (obviously, haha). I don't relate to the brand in a large concept. I see people calling me a feminist on instagram, and I have never claimed to be one. I totally agree with the feminist concepts for the most part, but I do love that playboy has always stayed sexy yet classy and I love how they put women in an empowered and in control setting.
I definitely think the symbol has a different meaning to me than someone actually living the lifestyle and doing Playboy shoots. Of course, I would do a shoot with them in a heart beat; and would love to stay at the Playboy Mansion, but to me it's just a cute symbol that reminds me I am sexy bad ass bitch.