CARNI--??? August 25, 2014


As Summer-Tyme always puts it,
"Nothings ever simple in our world".

Friday Morning, (August 22, 2014) we reluctantly checked out of the amazing 2 bedroom apartment in Hammer smith and into a 1 bedroom apartment in Stratford.
However, this Stratford 1 bedroom was so pathetic and poorly decorated; as well as a joke for 100 GBP a night.

Friday night was a chill-out night. I ended up falling asleep mad early re-watching 'Californication' Season 1.
Saturday, we worked and then I really wanted to go out. At least go somewhere with awesome 90's & 00's Hip Hop and just dance...... for some reason  that's the only music I can really shake my ass to.

So, I looked on the good old internet for some events matching my criteria; and came across some Birthday Bash for DJ Brit-Face (whoever that is).

Summer didn't 'really' want to go out; but with some convincing she decided to join me.
3 hours later, at 1;30 AM we were finally ready to go out.

We decided to drive instead of getting on the tube, and when we drove by the building we weren't expecting a line halfway down the block as well as NO, literally, NO other white people.

As she pretended to not like any parking space, (so she could buy more time and drive around); I became more nervous.

One stop at the off license for vodka, and an illegal parking space later, we braved the walk towards the club-goers to get in the back of line. It becomes more and more clear were out of place. Between my blue hair, my hat saying "BABYGiRL" and Summer with her fake 'E' tits and stripperesque outfit... we stuck out like, well, 2 white girls in a black club.

After waiting in line for 30 minutes; one of the bouncers walks along the line announcing,
"If you don't have I.D. don't even bother. EVERYONE NEEDS I.D."

Immediately Summer and I make eye contact.
"You DICK." I say quietly, yet bluntly.


When she took 3 hours to get ready and was telling me to put this, this and the other in my bag-
I asked her where her I.D. was and we argued since she said 'I'm 34, I won't need I.D."
I begged her to bring it anyway..... because of situations exactly like the one we walked into.

After another 15 minutes of waiting and assessing the situation, we decide to bounce. Because even if we did manage to get in, we would still not enjoy ourselves.
So, we made our way back to the car, went to McDonald's and then back to the shit-hole apartment in Stratford.

After a very sexy webcam session, I fall asleep watching documentaries about the Sex Industry on Netflix.


I manage to hear Summer arguing with someone over the blaring of 'Baby Boy' by Beyonce.
i'm the worst in the morning. Usually, I'm sweet, quiet, and non- argumentative; but- when i wake up; I'm a raging CUNT.

Summer gets louder, "COME FUCKING IN THEN!!"

I close my eyes, take a deep breath in; then breathe out.

I pop out of bed, naked, which is the only way I can sleep;
find my sweatpants on the floor; as well as dirty tanktop, and reveal myself to the hallway only to find her packing, no more shouting going on and Drama licking my ankles happy to see I'm awake.

Summer fills me.
It's 11.30 AM, check-out was 11AM; so they're threatening for me to open the door or 'they'll come in!'
While telling me the story, she turns to the door and shouts profanities; in case he's standing on the other side listening through the door.

I begin to help her pack faster when the BANG BANG BANG is back at the door.

Now, -- I hate being woken up, but being woken up like this.... FUCK NO.

I fly over to the door and a screaming match begins.


Just another day......................................